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Jeff Lampe
Jeff Lampe

Jeff Lampe has been outdoor writer at the Journal Star in Peoria for 12 duck seasons. He lives in Elmwood with his wife Monica, sons Henry, Victor and Walter, and Llewellin setter Hawkeye. A native of Buffalo, N.Y., he is an avid fan of the Bills and still has mental scars from four consecutive Super Bowl losses. Outside of hunting and fishing, Lampe's main passion in Illinois was Class A boys basketball (which sadly no longer exists). Former publisher of the Class A Weekly newsletter, Lampe is a co-author of "100 Years of Madness" and "Classical Madness," both books focusing on prep basketball in Illinois.

Illinois Outdoors


A Web log by Jeff Lampe of the Journal Star

Decoy maker needs reality check

January 01, 2010 at 05:07 PM

I have had some time to do nothing the last two days since I am going solo here at home with Boo Boo (our not quite 2-year-old).

As part of our babysitting today we drove around looking at people ice fishing, set mouse traps in the garage, sharpened the ice auger and put jigs on the ice fishing rods for next week. I figure that’s all good stuff for a kid to learn (just kidding Mom, we didn’t sharpen the ice auger).

We also checked out some of my new specklebelly goose shells, which included a piece of paper more ridiculous and more outrageous than anything Lungbuster has ever posted on this site. On the paper were Care Instructions for my new shells from Greenhead Gear. Here they are. I really feel like this list deserve a drum roll…

1. Never throw or toss your decoys into your truck or trailer or onto the ground. (COMMENT: Oh sure, this will never happen.).

2. Avoid getting mud, dirt, sand or clay on decoys. (COMMENT: This is so stupid it amazes me. Should we place the decoys only on cement? Hmm. Might actually work in Chicago.)

3. Do not heat heads or bodies with a torch and keep them away from open flames. (COMMENT: I can handle this, but do we need to tell people this?)

4. Do not store decoys outside for long periods of time. (COMMENT: Hmmm, does a hunting season constitute a long time?)

5. Do not expose decoys to long periods of direct sunlight as ultraviolet rays will ultimately damage decoy paint. (COMMENT: Are we supposed to hunt with these indoors?)

Anyway, reading these instructions makes me think I need to buy tougher decoys. Like those Herter’s decoys that used to have the ad with the truck driving over them. Ahh the good old days.


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Thanks for the morning laugh with this - now- go back to coddling those delicate decoys - please tell me they aren’t out in the cold, on the dirt, in bright sunlight!

Posted by G on 01/02 at 08:12 AM

Wow…Better not use them in your hunting mix….just find a nice shelf in the house to display them, evidentally that is what the manufacturer made them for.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/02 at 10:06 AM
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