Eric Hahn: turkey guide

Teaching school is obviously tough work, as evidenced here by Mattoon teacher Eric Hahn, napping during a recent turkey hunt.

Hahn’s “close friend” Bobby Hartbank submitted the picture.

Man am I glad none of my turkey hunting partners had a camera with them over the years. Some of my best naps have come while leaning against a tree in the spring woods while big gobblers walk right past.

Hey, is that a snake in your pants?

Nope, a lizard.

Man caught at airport with 44 lizards in pants

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - A German reptile collector has been jailed for 14 weeks and must pay a 5,000 New Zealand dollar ($3,540) fine for plundering New Zealand’s wild gecko and skink populations, a judge has ruled.

Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, is to be deported to Germany as soon as he is released from prison, Judge Colin Doherty ordered Tuesday.

Kubus was caught by wildlife officials at Christchurch International Airport on South Island in December, about to board an overseas flight with 44 geckos and skinks in a hand-sewn package concealed in his underwear.

He admitted trading in exploited species without a permit and hunting absolutely protected wildlife without authority, pleading guilty to two charges under the Wildlife Act and five under the Trade in Endangered Species Act.

Department of Conservation prosecutor Mike Bodie told Christchurch District Court that Kubus could have faced potential maximum penalties of 500,000 dollars a nd six months in prison.

Bodie told Doherty that the department sought a deterrent sentence for “the most serious case of its kind detected in New Zealand for a decade or more.”

The geckos may have been worth 2,000 euros ($2,800) each on the European market, he noted.

“Internationally, this type of trade is prevalent and is on the increase worldwide and can be lucrative,” he said.

Customs records showed that Kubus had also been to New Zealand in 2001, 2004, 2008, and 2009. In 2008, he had been with a Swiss reptile dealer.

Doherty said Kubus had come to New Zealand and set about poaching the animals in a premeditated way which would have had an impact on particular colonies.

There was a potential for Kubus to end up with far more animals than he could have housed in his own collection and the rest would have been sold.

“I don’t think you necessarily came here to steal to sell, but I am sure the fact that you might have had excess was figured into your thinking,” said the judge, describing the offending as “pretty close to the worst case.”

And the winners arxs?

well, i spent this SEvening at the Independent Sports Club’s Wild gamE feed in Kickapoo.

What a nite. I wuz a judge of home nmade wine. The iwnm was excellent. I relaly liked the fruit wines. And the vegtbable wins. And the dry grapes, And the sweretre graps.,. Hey, did you snow rhubabr is a vegtbale? Me ether.

Anwyaysy, I borughg a fews bottles home, Rhubabrdm. And cherry. Man wats at good niught. I cante wtat to go iec fishing again. Not an Emqjuon. But we willbe smilngn and styling when we go fjshsing next time.

Most imoprtnat, here are the winenrs of teh cotevted title of best home-made wine at the big event.

Fruit wines

1. Charlie Ludolph, apple
2. Robert Schaub, apple
3. Ludolph, cherry
4. Ludolph, blackberry
5. Schaub, not sure

Grape, dry

1. P.D. Dwyer

Grape, sweet

1. Rod Gilles
2. Eric Thurman
3. Pat Hanley

Vegetable

1. Ludolph, rhubarb

The turkey rap video

This one is too good to leave unmentioned.

The two guys who make this video are apparently named Phil and Lee Edmonds. They are brothers and make this whole thing just using their mouths. It’s been around since last December, but has recently shown up on several e-mails. And it’s worth watching.

Asking too much of a dog

Imagine you are a bloodhound, with an incredibly sensitive nose. And imagine someone asks you to smell a pair of underwear that look like this.

The dog’s look is priceless, but to me surprising.

After all, dog’s spend much of their lives sniffing rear ends. What could be so offensive about some dirty drawers?