Lamenting some poor outdoors judgement
The State Journal-Register
The influential, albeit fictional American, Forrest Gump learned from his mama that, “Stupid is as stupid does.”
Not everyone has Mr. Gump’s remarkable ability to spin ineptitude into gold.
This past February, Paul Crowder of Forrest City, Ark. would have done well to kept Forrest Gump on his mind. Crowder caught a largemouth bass weighing 16 pounds. 5 ounces. The fish broke a 36-year-old Arkansas state record.
But record-setting catches need to be verified. An investigation by the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission revealed that Crowder purchased a 2012 fishing license three hours after he said he caught the fish. To be certified as a state record holder, the angler must have a valid fishing license at the time of the catch. Crowder will not be recognized as the state record holder, and may be fined up to $1,000 and sentenced to 30 days in the pokey.
The Kentucky tourism commissioner resigned this month. He said he failed in his responsibility to oversee work being done by a British public relations firm hired to promote Kentucky in the United Kingdom.
The contract was worth $179,000 annually. The firm created a website that presented factual inaccuracies about Kentucky, including where Col. Harlan Sanders created the Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe. It got worse.
The website also encouraged visitors to play “road kill” bingo while driving through the state listening to bluegrass music. It gets worse. These informational nuggets were on the Web for several months before anyone with the Kentucky Tourism Commission noticed.
In Pittsburgh, a man was charged with public drunkenness after witnesses alleged he gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a road-kill possum. When the arresting officer arrived on the scene, he said the man was extremely intoxicated and was waving his hands over the dead animal as if conducting a seance.
Despite the heroic effort, the possum was permanently playing possum. When he sobered up, it was rumored that alleged resuscitator had halitosis well beyond the normal limits.
Politicians who change their minds often pay for it come re-election time. Those reversals are an ad man’s dream.
Kansas state Rep. Anthony Brown recently changed his tune, and his position. Brown voted no on a bill that would allow a separate season for crossbow hunting of deer, antelope, elk and wild turkey in his state. On his way home that night, Brown collided with a “good-sized” doe that did “substantial damage” to his truck. The responding deputy told Brown his was the second deer-related crash he encountered that night.
When he returned to the Kansas Statehouse chamber the following day for final action on the bill, Brown — fresh from an epiphany that changed his mind — voted in favor of the measure.
It’s been said people change when they learn enough that they want to, or have been hurt enough that they have to. That’s all I’m going to say about that.